Moths and flames

“Look at that weird guy, him and his long hair. Pacing up and down like that for ages, I’ve been watching him. I pity whoever he’s here for, he’s obviously entirely deranged.”

Darklis didn’t recall precisely what he looked like, having met while under significant influence all those weeks before. But her immediate recognition of the ‘nutter’ was because, in fact, she had invited him to attend.

Something in his silent stalking movements did indeed scare her, a fear tinge seeded deep within her belly. Screaming – OBSESSIVE! A characteristic she had learned to turn and bolt from with Olympic speed and precision.

Rather unfortunate then, that intrigue snagged her in the same moment and by equal measure. Of this dark moody looking man, waiting outside the theatre all this time in the puddled cold to catch her as she left.

By loudly declaring his judgement, Darklis’ opinion of her companion diminished right there and then, never to be regained. She understood all the reasons why he’d said it... but he was shallow and irrelevant.

She also knew inside herself, driving away from the scene as quickly as she dared, that from that exact instant in time she was well and truly fucked. And that it wasn’t necessarily going to be good.

Trouble was not, and still isn't, what Darklis wanted. For her sake, or his. If you were one of these two, at least slightly, off-centred people - tell me what would you have done next?

The percussionist

Was in two minds whether to go out on Christmas Eve, but after a text from a friend I’d been meaning to catch up with and some Brass In Pocket, I headed Downtown for a boogie. I do love to Dance. It was a fairly average evening, up until the point I asked some guy if he had the Time – Time The Avenger on these nights when the pubs have to close at midnight.

So we got talking and it turned out he was this guy travelling around the South Island following their recent Christchurch gig. “What do you do?” he asked me. Well I was Born For A Purpose and that be writing. So we talked some more because he’s about to start writing his memoirs. I could even tell you what the title is going to be …but I won’t.

To cut a long and amusing story short, I can now say I’ve drunk Jack, smoked hooch and talked copious amounts of utter bollocks with a muso of some international repute on the 9th floor of the Rutherford Hotel of all places. And before your mind wanders into the gutter – although If There Was A Man in this world that didn’t try it on I’d eat my hat – I declined, graciously. Don’t Get Me Wrong, if I was to get the same offer from my Johnny I wouldn't have thought twice and been in there boots’n’all. But really, I guess I'm just not the groupie type of girl.

Pretty classic today, just before I tucked into my Christmas dinner, said percussionist phones me to wish me Happy Christmas. It was Kinda Nice, I Like It. And like I always say: you always gotta expect the unexpected, because it happens more often that way. If you can identify the 10 related song titles within this post perhaps I'll even find you some sort of prize.

Who's line is it anyway?

Yesterday my horoscope said I’m capable of achieving far greater things than I realise, but need to be pushed by others to help me get there. That sounds a bit like me; I thrive on challenges.

At the moment, I’m most intrigued by all forms of art and creativity. So help me out – and give me a line, a phrase, a concept or similar. The idea being that if I’m any kind of writer at all, I can take it and improvise with it and come up with something interesting – and no, it won’t be about me!

It can be absolutely anything. A couple of examples, just off the top of my head, of little snippets of words I've come across recently that I liked the sound of include:

• Acid in the goulash
• Call me back when someone else is home

So suggest something via a comment on this blog, email, MSN or whatever other method. Make yourself known or be anonymous, it makes no difference to me. GO ON - don’t hold back…

Single white female

Johnny Appleseed has been lurking for quite a while now, tempting and tormenting me with opportunities of change. After much deliberation over many months, I’ve finally decided to bite the bullet and go for a bit of a lifestyle shakeup. Goodbye rural pad and hello slap-bang inner city living (notwithstanding that this is Nelson we’re talking about here folks!)

Sometimes the universe just pushes you along in a certain direction. Where it becomes uncomfortable to remain in the status quo, whereas everything fits into place so seamlessly when you actually find the courage to move forward in some way. It takes on a life of its own and seems futile to resist. So despite an element of the unknown (where would we be without that), I’m just going with it.

I have a fantastic great big house in a primo location without even trying or jumping through the usual hoops - and a landlady who is bending over backwards to accommodate me. Every time I walk in the door, a harmonious vibe hits me in the chest and puts me in a good place. There is plenty of room, charm, character and amenities plus, complete with a fantastic office space to work from. All good.

What I need now is a housemate or two - and guess what? You can help me! If you know anyone groovy looking to share with someone else groovy (i.e. me), then please point them in my direction. But I’m also thinking you could help me with my flatmate selection criteria. We've all been there over the years - flatmates in all shapes, sizes and grips on reality (perhaps that should be another blog post). It’s bloody difficult to choose who to share your sacred space with from just half an hour’s chat and a perhaps a shared pot of tea.

So come, bring on your gems of knowledge and suggestions please…

Tyre kickers

Man you people are boring! I have no idea why you read this blog, but I know that you do because I see you. But you’re so quiet all the time. Not a squeak out of you.

I used to pay my brother to leave anonymous comments just so I could look like I was popular. But he’s in love now and obviously has other priorities.

Ofcourse I could leave anonymous comments myself, but that would seem too weird even for me and not a little narcissistic.

What if I told you I was coming out of the closet? Would that be enough to stir a reaction?

Ping Pong Pippa?

Do you duel?
Have arms?
Any depth perception at all?
Come over and play in my shed.
You bring the fish & chips,
I'll provide the beer.
All challengers welcome;
See you soon :)

How young is too young?

So does age matter?
And does it matter more whose older than whom?
I'm interested to hear your opinions.. and if you call me cougar I'll smack you in the gob!

Help save the Cable Bay Rifle Range

You may have heard that the Cable Bay Rifle Range & Shooting Adventures here in the Nelson district is trying to be closed down by some new neighbours that are moving into the area.

Please help us save the rifle range by signing the online petition to be presented to the Environmental Court. It should never have even got this far!

Read the full story and please sign the petition at http://cablebay.nelson.co.nz/petition

Dreams to reality

As a wee tacker (ie. probably up until last year) on Sunday family outings I used to pretend my imaginery horse in my imaginery horse float was being towed around behind my Dad’s Mitsi Mirage. Yeah, an active imagination was essential growing up in Wangavegas.

A warning to all road users; this could soon be me - only on a much bigger scale eh. The horse is the right colour though. Do you think visioning 2 tonnes on the back of my Barbie jeep in my sleep will help with the new real life reversing skills I’ll have to come to grips with? I swear it used to help whilst learning to swim when I was six. It’s alright, I’ve got a huge carpark to practice in at the orchard before I go public ;P

Can I pull it off?

I got roped into going to a charity auction tonight. It was a good cause; raising money for a local woman’s cancer treatment. The food, wine and company were excellent. I didn’t actually intend to buy anything, but the items was pretty good and going for a steal (at least until the wine took effect and lubricated people’s wallets).

I’m not really a label chick, but my bargain purchase was a Trelise Cooper long velvet robe. It wasn’t until upon closer inspection when I got home that I realised it’s actually meant to be a dressing gown type of robe! To be fair, perhaps I should have twigged to this earlier; it is pink after all, with lace trim and intricate beading!

I don't care; I think it’s super cool. I also reckon I can get away with wearing it out in some trendy ensemble and no one will even twig that I’m actually wearing sleepwear!! Anyone willing to place a bet?

Whaddayareckon – can I pull it off?

Alter Ego?

I have a week to come up with an alter ego. An image that epitomises in my wildest dreams who I am and how I am perceived.

It’s all part of this fashion & style class I’ve been going to for something different to do. By now I possess (in theory at least) all the skills and dark arts to ensure I am never ever caught looking anything but my most fabulous. Yeah right.

It’s all good though. Next week is all about cultivating a personal style. So I need an alter ego apparently, but so far inspiration hasn’t exactly grabbed me. The woman who takes the class has a female James Bond as hers – sophisticated, sexy, resourceful, jumps buildings in a single bound – that sort of thing. Not bad, but my style is probably just a little more laid-back. That is, there are many aspects of my life where wearing glammed up gear everyday just wouldn’t work. Yet this is no reason not to be looking stylish at all times evidently.

So I’m thinking my alter ego would need to be pretty versatile. Like someone who happily hangs out in mountain cabins, looking gorgeous (yet fitting) whilst fixing tractors and covering oneself in mud. Is at home loitering around in dark alleys working as a covert spy (or perhaps is just mysteriously shady!). Yet with the uncanny ability to silence a room and send jaws dropping with classy and seductive evening style. Perhaps some sort of cross between Cameron Diaz, Urma Thurman, Lara Croft, Kate Hudson and goodness knows who else.

Hmmm… interesting, but I think it needs more work. As always, open to suggestions…

Mix'n'Match

OK, so admittedly I've seen more flattering pics, but... reckon ya can correctly match these dogs to their owners below? If so, what gives it away?

This is more riveting than the Woman's Day huh :P

Send your answers via a comment. A point for guessing each correct combination; a further point for each ...errr... semi-logical reason for putting each combination together. In the meantime I'll think of an appropriate prize.

Meet Buck

I’ve got someone new in my life:

He’s dark & sexy; yet not too flashy
Strong, agile and responsive
The rugged outdoors type, but still very smoooove…
The ideal versatile companion

Looks a bit like this only he’s black. Can't vouch for the snow handling yet, but already done the thick 2am fog thing bringing him back down south last night. I'm sure he'll pull the hosses round just dandy.

...Only I can’t decide - should I clean him or get him dirty???

Open To Suggestions...

Problem:
Need to find strapping lad(s)/lad-ess(es) to help me load/unload 60 bales of hay on Saturday (cos person sharing the hay with me and who will remain nameless has let me down, grrrr, bmph, !@#$?!!!..). Hay has been ordered and desperately needed - without it poor Pegasus will starve. Just moved to town, don’t know anyone that fits the bill, not rolling in cash at the moment…

Possible solutions I’m currently mulling over:
1. Canvas the local pub
2. Trademe
3. Send out texts to random numbers

…promising cold beer and free horse manure. Don’t wish to sell my body or first-born child (not that I’ve got one).

ALL OTHER SUGGESTIONS WELCOMED!

How Predictable

I am Thea. Thea I am. I cackle often. In truth probably sometimes too much. A bit OTT, a bit gobby like, but sometimes I just can't help it, eh. Like just the other day I was out for a meal with these people I don’t know very well (like at all) and during dinner conversation I was in some state of ridiculous uncontrollable laughter about something I had in my mind and was trying to blurt out, when instead out of my open mouth splurted not words but the rice I was trying to consume at the time. I was totally unable to cease the hysterical convulsions my body was in and had to seriously take a few moments to compose myself before I could even finish my sentence. I’m sure they thought I was barking, but oh well shit happens and start as you mean to go on I suppose.

So anyway, the other day was Friday 13th (my favourite days of the year). A day witch for me started out really really badly – when my car basically blew itself up on the way to work and I tried unsuccessfully to hide my exasperated girlie tears behind my sunnies from the roadside assistance man – turned into a pretty good day thanks to my amazing Midas touch and magical powers of positivity. Then at the end of the day I was checking my emails to be told that I had won an online tarot reading. Great I thought, I’m pretty open minded to the powers of those gifted in the alternative arts. I dutifully sent off my 3 questions that would be answered and waited. Suffice to say the answers I received, although probably quite correct, did little to convince me of this person's extraordinary powers of the tarot. In short, here are my questions and the answers I received:

QUESTION: I’ve moved to a new town and miss having good mates around me. Will I make some good genuine friends very soon?
ANSWER: Join a club.

QUESTION: I’ve recently started my own business, will it be successful?
ANSWER: Be prepared to work hard and visualize it being successful.

QUESTION: I’m very fussy and thus been single for ages. When will I meet someone awesome?
ANSWER: You should be settled within the next 2-3 years.

Now I don’t expect, or even want, to be told what my future is down to the enth degree, but any fool could give the kind of vague responses I received back. To be honest I give myself better advice. So no, I will not pay $69.95 to receive a more comprehensive reading! Instead I now have my own set of tarot cards and until such time as I get bored of it I will endeavour to provide any Witches Cackle readers with my own personal style of tarot reading for free (and obviously with a not to be taken too seriously disclaimer). Send me your 3 questions via making a comment on this blog and I will put a post up with what the cards tell me. I do not guarantee anything except to make you feel good by smiling :)

Yrs, Thea the good witch.