Impress your lass

A lot of guys aren’t so good at romance eh. They have no idea. In fact I think I’ve only ever had one boyfriend who surprised me with gifts and stuff that I really really liked. That’s because he had the nouse to get his sister to help him come up with ideas!

So it’s Valentine’s Day this week and obviously couldn’t go without a mention. I don’t have any crushes worth getting up the energy to do anything about, so this year I’ve decided to help you blokes out a bit instead. Be your big sister if you like.

Being of discerning taste, but a woman nonetheless - all of whom have a soft spot for romance and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise - here is my quick guide to IMPRESSING YOUR LASS ON VALENTINE'S DAY. It’s easy, it’s cheap and comes with a 95% satisfaction guarantee. My disclaimer is that there’s always bitches out there who are never happy or realise what a great guy you really are, in which case - move on.

Above all guys, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER is that all girls want is to feel special. The amount of expenditure is totally irrelevant. She will be totally turned on purely by knowing that you were thinking about her and wanted to do something special, and then actually did.

So here’s my starter for ten to give you some ideas:

1. Take her for a drive and stop to snog in a rest area
2. Leave her an unexpected love note where you know she’ll find it
3. Make her a homemade card
4. Take her to a bookshop and secretively read the magazines and giggle together (instead of buying them; it’s more fun that way)
5. Go to the beach, bury her in the sand (preferably with her head sticking out) and etch sweet nothings into the sand in front of her
6. Wash her hair and take your sweet time about it
7. Cut out paper letters that say “I love you”, “how hot are you?” or similar and string them up as a surprise
8. Take her to the library and make out in a quiet secluded section, like reference or biographies
9. Maker her a breakfast smoothie with love and make funny shapes out of the toast
10. Sing to her (ok yes, now I’m clutching at straws!)
    

Good luck!