Find a farmer a wife

Friday, 1 February 2008

The Australian Women’s Weekly is running a ‘Find a Farmer a Wife’ campaign here in NZ at the moment, so naturally I felt obliged to scan what was on offer. It was worth the fiver outlay for the entertainment value (I laughed a lot!) and as AWW put it, with 22 men of the land looking for love, what was I waiting for?

Carsten, 44, of King Country has centrefold status. He sounds relatively sane, likes horses and isn't too hard on the eye. But no, he lives too far away.

Michael, 44, Christchurch, is slightly closer to home and has horses too. Let me see… errr, perhaps not… Michael is looking for someone with “homemaking skills” (not really my strong point) and thinks the one thing a woman can do better than a man is “bringing up children”.

Move over Michael, enter David, 33, Southland. At least it’s still the same island and we’re much closer in ages. Hmmm, actually I don’t think so... David still lives with his mother and says the most romatic thing he’s ever done is “taken someone out for a nice dinner”.

Oh! A moment of excitement when I saw a local bloke pictured on his 4 wheeler motorbike alongside his faithful black & white hound. Neil, 43, lives practically just up the road in Takaka (a very nice spot). Only I think he might be related to Michael because Neil too thinks women are good for looking after children. Buying flowers is the most romantic thing he’s ever done. For FU*K’s sake guys, are we still living in the 70s, or is it a case of too much effluent in your water supply?

Scott, 27, Bay of Plenty is the pick of the bunch. He loves rural life but also likes to venture into town. He has energy, makes the most of every opportunity and there’s lots of laughter in his life. Oh yeah, and he’s hot! He reckons women can do most things better than men (if you actually want to get things finished) and has plenty of ideas when it comes to romance. You’re a winner in my book Scott – and even your dog is cute.

So I don’t think I’ll be writing to any of them, but good on them for having the guts to put themselves out there (and be open to my ridicule & scrutiny – sorry guys!)