Taken for a ride

When in doubt, talk about your horse. I sometimes use the icebreaker: “What’s the biggest thing you’ve ever killed?” but you get a few sideways looks at that, so you’ve got to be in the mood. Horses are safer. Let's talk about horses.

The thing I like about my brown boy in particular is, he’s such a dude, a hard case. Do anything most days, but also perfectly capable of putting you in your place. I like that in a bloke, just quietly.

So the aforementioned bareback buccaneering thing, it's fantastic. Natural. Second-nature almost. It’s a bit like this – and you un-horsey folk - this is a new experience just for you.

Legs enclave. A warm, fit, noble body moving, rhythmically with you. Hopefully. Otherwise it's much more awkward and clumsy. Gentle, yet definitely bold. Your skill of balance, flexibility and sense of adventure growing ever-stronger. In good stride.
 

Your skin. Their skin. One skin. Tuned, without needing to speak out loud. But sometimes you might, or inside, just to catch a briefest of flickers across their face. Adrenalin, endorphins, flickers, flutters. You each feel everything of the other.

No kicking yanking slapping to slow down or speed up, no visible movement at all perhaps. Because every bit of it is in your… breath. Building up the energy and electricity in your body to achieve quick accelerated exhilaration. Slowing down, deep breaths, every ounce of tension relaxed, gliding smoothly… or even a sharp stop. To start, on urge, again. In the motion and the moment.
 

Of course, I’ve no idea if my horse would describe our bareback rides the same way. He can get a bit cantankerous if he wants, although he’s seems pretty happy these days.

Barely there

My latest phase is riding bare. Without a saddle that is.
 
While pretending recently that I was 7 writing an essay inside my head on what I did in the holidays, I realised that amongst all the cool crazy fun I had, my bestest most favourite thing was the stinking hot day my friend and I took our ponies down the river for a swim on the spare of the moment.

Sun glinting off the clear, cool sparkliness, it was so relaxing moseying upstream riding bareback amongst the happy wildlife. Our horses, with refreshing water up around their bellies, thought all their Christmases had come at once and so did we. Hooked I was, hooked.
 
And also because Peter Karena from that movie This Way Of Life and his kids ride bareback all the time and seem to have such a bloody good time. Not to mention that he’s exceedingly hot and rides naked on occasion too, but I'm sure this can have little if anything to do with it…
 
Benefits of my saddle-free summer are being able to ride in shorts, better horseback balance, more trust between me and the cheeky nag – who used to buck me off at every opportunity once upon a time and could achieve this in nanoseconds with my riding bareback should he desire – and after only a couple of weeks, the beginnings of buns and inner thighs to make Xenia Onatopp proud.

Good times.

Induction and convection

It seems I possess slightly unusual powers to induce birth.

Firstly – to all men - beware! Never become involved with me unless you want to procreate with another woman soon after we're over. This has happened more times than I care to remember now. I could get a complex over it, but actually I choose to take it as a compliment on various different levels, if you can work that riddle out.

I've also played mid-wifery assistant for a good friend: timing contractions, fetching towels and boiling up large quantities of water, as you do during home births, which was a groovy and err… enlightening experience.

But most serendipitous of all was pitching up with blankets and provisions at the farm earlier this week in preparation and expectation of a long wait to see a foal that was “due to arrive sometime soon”, but not necessarily in a hurry, being born. But just 5 minutes after my arrival, and not long after the sun had gone down (horses usually give birth in the wee small hours), it’s all on. Fifteen minutes later, out pops a marvellous ¾ Cleveland Bay filly. This morning I found this in my email inbox:

“We’ve been pondering over foal names – for a brief moment I did contemplate Anthea, in recognition of your amazing ability to induce birth. Unfortunately this is a silly name for a horse. We eventually decided to continue our Greek god theme and go with Athena, daughter of Zeus. This evening I realised this also happens to be an anagram of Anthea. Serendipitous huh?”

For those not versed in Greek mythology, Athena is the goddess of wisdom, born out of the head of her father (after he swallowed his pregnant wife whole), fully grown and wearing robe and helmet. Athena is known for being a powerful defender in war as well as a potent peacemaker. Of course it’s also the name of a well known line of tap ware, but that’s okay. As I love being immersed in hot water, it’s still kind of appropriate.

Naturally, she will grow up to be a champion.

Crisp and sunny

Me and CB at the Nelson Area Winter Dressage Series last weekend.
We were debutantes (even though he's a boy horse) :)

Resolving

A new year. When we spend the first 2 weeks getting out of the habit of writing “08” on everything in favour of writing “09”. When traditionally you resolve to either start or stop doing something-or-other in particular.

I make resolutions all the time and certainly don’t consider them to be the domain of the new year only. What can I say; I’m a goal orientated person. I find it much easier when I have something in my sights to aim for. And otherwise, whatever it is, is unlikely to ever happen in this lifetime!

So at new year I like to resolve to do something a little extra special - rather than the run of the mill lose weight, get fit, save money, blah blah blah. Somewhere around the 90s was an extremely good year, when I remember resolving to make love in a waterbed (and a belated thanks to my then boyfriend’s parents who unwittingly provided their marital bed in order for me to realise this objective!)

With regret I never achieved my 2008 new year’s resolution, which was to take my first helicopter flight. I had the opportunity in November during the Nelson A&P show, but decided I’d rather wait until I have the money to take a flight over Mt Cook or somewhere equally breathtaking, rather than the somewhat less inspiring Richmond Showgrounds!

I already live the life of Riley really and am pretty happy with my lot, but after much thought I’ve come up with 2 resolutions for 2009:

1. Charlie Brown and I are going to brave public scrutiny and enter the mid-winter Nelson dressage series. We’ve been taking lessons for around 2 months now and have something to prove to ourselves. I never thought I would ever in my lifetime even contemplate doing this, so I’m halfway there I reckon.
2. Stop beating myself up about being the only single girl I know in my mid-30s who can’t even remember what it’s like to be in love. I'm convinced I'm still normal (whatever that is) ;)
   

Auld lang syne my friends xx

Baby fever

I've got baby fever. But not the kind you're thinking. Meet Dancer and Lunar, two of the new foals at Fossil Creek Farm where my Charlie Brown lives. Talk about cute!

Mojo

So I haven’t ranted on about my horse here lately. The reason for my silence: (1) I haven’t had time to rant on about anything (far too busy working, how dull) and (2) I haven’t had anything particularly positive to say about him.

In the nearly 3 years we’ve been together, Charlie Brown and I have always had a tumultuous relationship …with me definitely doing most of the tumbling. Both my pride and body are hurt on what feels like an all too regular basis. In fact, I’ve only recently regained about 90% movement in my back after a nasty fall and a month long stint with the osteopath.

I know what you’re all thinking, and believe me I’ve asked this question of myself on numerous occasions - “Why do I continue to put myself through it?” Ignoring for a minute the fact that I may be mentally retarded, it’s simply that I hate giving up on something that I really want. I’m also certain that, despite our difficulties, we’re meant to do great things together (in a Lone Ranger/Hi-Ho Silver kind of way). If only the little bugger would come round to my way of thinking!

Although the dangers are physical and very real, the battle between us is clearly a mental one. The state of our relationship is generally based on where my mojo is at the time – whether fully paid up or terribly in arrears. Ofcourse knowing this is one thing, but finding mojo when your horse has turned into a dangerous monster intent only on destroying your confidence and your ability to walk, can admittedly be a little harder.

It’s not part of my natural character to try and dominate others, believing people should do things of their own free will. This has been my most fundamental mistake I think; Charlie is not a person, he’s a young and bolshy horse who requires a definite and consistent leader. However, Charlie also tends to make the same fundamental mistake time and time again; letting his ego go to his head and underestimating me. This is the tipping point that generally sees my mojo return. When my fear turns into anger at having the piss well and truly taken. When my deep-rooted stubborness and determination of character turns the tables (quietly, patiently and often discretely) to get the last laugh.

After many tears of fear and frustration, and many weeks searching despairingly for my mojo (again), I feel it filling up in my veins again now. The war isn’t quite over (he wouldn’t be my Charlie if stopped trying altogether), but the tipping point has been recognised and there’s a definite change in the waters. Yesterday, during mid-buck-rear-mad-dangerous-horse-mentalness I quietly pulled out my new secret weapon… the small circle using his head as the pivot… and stayed on. He tried a few times and each time I was the winner. The score is evening up and he will eventually stop trying when it doesn’t evoke the response he's looking for.

On Saturday we have our first real riding lesson together, which I have no doubt will be the beginning of a whole new chapter in our relationship.

I never let bullies win.

Out of my tree

Popular legend says you’re not a horserider until you fall off at least 100 times. I’m thinking I can’t have many more to go now. But I do think it’s really important to bring your own unique style to things, as with my last ‘creative dismount’.

Amongst the other horsey folk where I keep Charlie Brown, I have the reputation of being a bit of a bush basher; if you want to come riding with me – beware! I do a lot of riding in a nearby forest and am always on the lookout for new trails (or potential new trails) so often end up going a little off-piste. I wear gloves so I can push the prickly gorse away from my body easily, my helmet protects my noggin and a good deal of faith is also required.

In such a situation over the weekend, I decided I couldn’t be arsed getting off my horse and had faith we could get through a particular tight and tricky spot. Going under some extremely low and prickly foliage I leaned down over my horse’s neck. Needless to say I couldn’t see much and the next minute I found myself off my horse, hanging rather precariously in a tree with my arms hooked over some branches. Meanwhile, my horse has continued through to the other side and is taking the opportunity to snatch some food while he waits for me to disengage myself.

The bruises are starting to come out now (and they’re big and very sore) but I really had to laugh at how amusing it must have looked to any nearby wood nymphs :P

Alpine back country adventure

Yesterday I returned from probably the most enjoyable business trip I’ve ever been on. Asked to go to a back country station near the beautiful Hanmer Springs to gather firsthand information about an alternative power system installation… well really, how could I possibly refuse. In fact, I decided to make the most of the opportunity and bravely took my horse with me on the 5 hour journey south.

Hossack Station is a 25,000 acre high country sheep and cattle station, which also has a safari hunting park and breeds beautiful horses. Dating back to 1852, the scenery, atmosphere and buildings are like an amazing trip back in time. I had to pull my horse through no less than 10 rivers inside his tin box just to get up the 10km ...err... driveway. Thank goodness for Buck!

On the second day we got a heavy snowfall; at least 15cm. I've never seen snow like that outside a ski field and it was simply breathtaking - check out my photos for yourself. The snowball fights at nearby Hanmer Springs hot pools while it was snowing was also awesome childish fun!

Needless to say, my horse Charlie Brown was glad to finally get home to the balmy climes of Nelson last night. I could tell this because as soon as he got back in his paddock he stuck his dick out and ran away looking extremely happy :)

So big ups to Genkit and The Hossack for the opportunity and your generosity. And cheers to the guys for the good company; it was very amusing from beginning to end.

Simplicity

Most mornings I get up and spend a couple of blissful hours riding my horse before my work day begins. Wrapped up warm like a toastie pie in many many layers, I don’t care that it’s baltic cold, but just enjoy soaking up the outdoor environment from between the ears of my horse.

The theme for my life at the moment is simplicity and I’m loving every minute of it. Not for me are drama, consumerism or even party party party. Nature, exercise, good company, wholesome food and keeping cosy are my friends. Maybe it’s a winter thing or am I truly becoming a small town girl?

Making progress

Sure, problems are frustrating, but I'm happy as long as I can see progress being made. I think these famous Norman Thelwell cartoons pretty accurately portray my own equine challenges of the recent past, the present and maybe the future...

Many tell me to get something with a motor. I say where's the challenge in that?

That warm fuzzy feeling

It has been wet and wild this week. Yes, I’m talking about the weather. Winter is on its way and I embrace it with enthusiasm. Not that Nelson really has a winter per se; most Nelsonians wouldn’t know a storm if it hit them hard on the noggin eh. They run and hide in what I would class as a fresh breeze :P

Like everything, I grasp the change of season with two warm hands and get into the spirit of it. I find a certain romance in wearing gumboots, thick woolly layers and a warm beanie out in the cold and damp to feed or talk to my horse and spend time outdoors. There’s just something about getting muddy and dirty which can’t be beaten. Except perhaps the feeling of getting warm and clean again afterwards.

This week has been hard work and pretty exhausting but so far the highlight, which has made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside the most, was jumping on my horse bareback and navigating him in just a halter and lead rope through a very flooded stream (so I didn’t get my feet wet!) to be able to get him out of the paddock. I’m telling you this because it’s proof that goal #1 in my last post has totally and utterly been conquered!

Creatively visualising my backside

I’ve been playing around with a bit of creative visualisation lately and today I put a picture of the very expensive saddle I’d like to buy up in my office. It looks like this:



I’ve decided I will buy this saddle once I’ve achieved two things:

1. When my nag Charlie Brown is once again safe to ride. We are currently undergoing THEApy with Jo Ragg at Serendipity Equine here in Nelson. We’re making progress on the ground. I'm curious to see how things go next week once we actually start getting on his back!


2. I can afford it without sacrificing rent, food or other essentials! What can I say, the freelance life has it's ups and downs. Definitely moving in the right direction but not quite there yet.

I’m from the school of thought that pretty much anything can be achieved with the right attitude, flexibility of mind and hard work, but ideally I want my backside to be warming this saddle by April or May.

I was tempted to put a picture of Johnny Depp on my wall beside the saddle, but that’s just silly…

HAPPY EASTER HOLIDAYS EVERYONE :)

Dreams to reality

As a wee tacker (ie. probably up until last year) on Sunday family outings I used to pretend my imaginery horse in my imaginery horse float was being towed around behind my Dad’s Mitsi Mirage. Yeah, an active imagination was essential growing up in Wangavegas.

A warning to all road users; this could soon be me - only on a much bigger scale eh. The horse is the right colour though. Do you think visioning 2 tonnes on the back of my Barbie jeep in my sleep will help with the new real life reversing skills I’ll have to come to grips with? I swear it used to help whilst learning to swim when I was six. It’s alright, I’ve got a huge carpark to practice in at the orchard before I go public ;P

Quirky?

Someone described me as quirky this week. I'm not sure if it was meant in a complimentary way or not, but I suspect it may have come from a silly habit I have of talking to inanimate objects. It's not that I'm completely insane (although that definitely runs in the family) or that I expect them to talk back. Rather that I like to find amusement in the most everyday things around me. Outlook is everything. For example, the thing that made me chuckle to myself the most this week was when a horse at the paddock got frightened and shied at the sound of its own fart! Ho Ho Ho, I'm still LMAO at that one...

Butter wouldn't melt

...or so you might think. Charlie Brown chilling out in the morning sun over the weekend. Really, how could this wee pony be anything but sweet and docile?

Well rewinding back just a couple of weeks ago it was more like Crazy Charlie and Rodeo Bill. Only Crazy Charlie was completely insane and Rodeo Bill was crying girlie tears of frustration. Spring grass is like a drug problem for a horse (well no, maybe just my horse!), it sends him fruit-loopy for a few weeks every year. But you have to let them eat it at some point eh. But up close it's not pretty and I was shitting bricks trying to deal with one uncontrollable, mad mother F of a horse.

Despite the fact that a horse weighs around half a tonne and has a hell of a lot of power (and so has the physical ability to do pretty much whatever he wants whenever he wants), getting a horse to do what you want really mostly comes down to him believing that you are the more powerful. Like so many things, it's pyschological. You can whip him into shape obviously, but my concern has always been that the relationship is then based purely on fear and not on trust. One day when the situation arises that the shit really hits the fan, the horse is gonna split and run for his own life without a second thought for me and my safety.

So I've been trying out some horse whispering techniques, aka Natural Horsemanship. Made famous by Pat Parelli (who has made a small fortune by now I'm sure), in a nutshell the approach is based on imitating horses' own behaviour in the herd situation to win the leader status, ie. the horse will look to me to make decisions and provide protection.

You start out playing with them from the ground using ropes and signals (because I don't have horse teeth, horse legs and hopefully not a horse face!), until pretty soon you can get your horse to do heaps of stuff just by using hand signals or some sort of physical or verbal cue. I still have a long way to go, but the results have been immediate and positive. After 15mins my horse had more respect for me - no more barging into my space; no more swinging his arse round at me when he didn't want me picking up his feet, no more rearing up on the end of the lead rope frightening me half to death. Now I can do things like remain standing still in one spot whilst send him walking backwards using a simple command. This now works whether he's attached to me by rope or not and we make use of obstacles like poles he has to walk backwards over or backwards through streams. We've started on sideways manoeuvres now and after that will come riding with no bridle and trying to get similar techniques to work when on his back. When I can get him walking up into a horsefloat on command I'll throw a party (horses are natural claustrophobics and Crazy Charlie had to be sedated to get him on the horse truck from Wellington to Nelson)!

So, it's cool and really exciting to see a different approach achieving results. Heaps big thanks to Tanja and Kim for supporting me when I was struggling and encouraging me to try something new. Hopefully I can capture some of our horseplay on film for the full effect.

The Rodeo

Today it was four pretty decent bronco bucks to get me off
I landed on my feet. Lucky.
Sometimes I reckon I must be nuts
Half a tonne of power + unpredictability

We're mates really
That big moke and me
We obviously just have trust issues
Now I know how John Wayne got that walk...